Thunder's God Rolling His Eyes

So the following blog is a copy paste of a classic mom rant. I found this on her computer. I feel that this is exactly what she would be saying about the state of the world if she were around today. I remember when she told me about this theory. She had come into Chicago to visit me and one of the first thing she said was "I've been thinking about writing a play about all this conservative christian rhetoric. It'd be called "Thunder's God Rolling His Eyes." Then we had a conversation that was basically this rant. This is probably my favorite mom rant and encapsulates a lot of her humor and view points.  Enjoy: 

My thoughts on the meaning behind God creating people to be gay.  So, we start by assuming there’s a God who is a hands-on sort of God and who does things for a reason, the more mysterious, the better. He (could be a she or something else) decides to create roughly 10% of the people to be gay, purposely making them different in a way that is likely to shake a person at the core of their identity without having any other negative effect. And he (could be a she or something else) leaves a lot of those mysterious, hard to interpret, harder to translate, stories and abolitions around for prophets and charlatans to find and report and distort over the centuries. Never tries to update things except that once where Jesus shows up with some story about loving each other and not throwing the first stone, but we’re going to set that aside for a bit. So, what is the mysterious purpose behind all of that. Hmm. Well, looking at it logically. Has to be one of two things: either God finds it amusing to watch people suffer or it’s some kind of a test. If it’s the first case, then we are all in a lot of trouble and so I don’t choose to believe in that sort of a God. That would be God as a petulant child that picks the wings off of flies. So, it must be a test. And just what and who is being tested? Perhaps a person’s ability to resist sin. However, I’d think for that, you’d want to use a sin whose attractiveness was more evenly distributed. Something like envy, greed, stuff like that. More likely the test is for the majority population and the gay people are created as test conditions. This makes a lot more sense. A truly interesting test. So, then the question is what is the correct response.  It seems the current crop of ruling righteous feels the test is to see if they can sufficiently persecute gay people in order to curry favor and prove their loyalty and perhaps bully them into either denying their own existence. But that can’t be the correct response, because that reaction doesn’t need to be tested for, it’s already well established in the literature that people are capable of being cruel to each other, particularly when they can blame it on God. No further research is needed. So, the answer must be something else.  

I’m going to digress for a minute. Going back to the Garden story. It seems to me that if God created man and woman and gave them free will and all that, and if they got thrown out of the garden for eating from the tree of knowledge, it doesn’t make sense that their sin was disobedience. If He (or She or something else) wanted an obedient pet, why not perform that magic evolution thing on the dog. A much, much, more loyal and obedient animal than a human with its monkey brain. So, if the issue wasn’t obedience, then it make sense that Adam and Eve were asked to leave the garden…. drum roll… Just Because They Were Ready. After all, what’s the sense of creating an interesting, intelligent, animal if you don’t watch it do interesting, intelligent things? In that case, then the open question is at what point are humans ready to return to the garden? OK, back to the test… Perhaps when we have learned to cut through the B.S. and treat each other decently, even those who are different. Duh. Head slap. So, that’s Jesus meant – why didn’t he just say so? Oh, I guess he did. My bad.