The Butterfly Phase

So this week I've been settling into new patterns. I'm teaching a morning summer camp and working on various projects and generally getting into the swing of my freelance schedule. I've also been taking more time to process grief stuff and unpacking at how far I've come in the past few months (almost a year. ahh!) I think that I'm out of the chrysalis of the more squishy bits of grief and am learning how to be my best butterfly self. So that's what this poem comes from:

The Butterfly Phase

The best way to honor my mom

Is to be my own person

To stand strong

To feel like I belong

To trust my instincts when something is wrong

To listen to my heart’s song

The best way to honor my mom

Is to live my life to fullest

To be grateful for opportunities

To seek out more and more

Places I want to explore

I’m soaring

Transforming

Like a big beautiful

Unapologetic butterfly

Who wears a fair amount of tie-dye

Taking time

To land

Sigh and take in all the things I see

I am grounded in myself

My reality

The idea that life is constantly

Changing and I’m open and engaged

With whatever it has to throw at me

My confidence is in the driver’s seat

Worry is an occasional passenger

But it doesn’t get to drive the car

It becomes more and more easy

To clear space in my mind

And sigh as I settle into the breathing room

My mom would be so proud

To see the person I’m becoming

The weird thing is. I’m not entirely sure

I’d be becoming this person if I wasn’t working thru this loss

It’s some “hero’s- journey- Lifetime- movie” nonsense

But I’ll see blessings in the loss

And continue to walk explore the world

With this clearer vision